Molly is life... i am death...

It started...

today it started...

what started you may ask....

that is a good question...

EVERYTHING STARTED...

I sat in the corner.. crying with Star... it was a normal thursday...

and then she came to me... that red headed freckly face came closer...

a friend i wondered...

or maybe....

AN ENEMY...

As she came closer her fist hit my face...

her fists are like death to my cheek... i enjoy death... i injoy her fists

it makes me feel... happy... (?)

I thought to myself...

is this possible...

am i ... happy?

what is the defenition of... happy?

to smile...?

NO!

to love...?

NO!

maybe i will never know...

all i know is that... I HATE IT... but at the same time... I LOVE IT!

I LOVE HATE! ...

i like to hate... it makes me feel...

hate...

hate... good...

love... BAD!

Molly is a hater... NOT A LOVER... so...

SHE CAN DO NO WRONG...

i feel like she understands me...

we are connected...

she is my connection to the world...

she is the only one who can make me feel...

real

real?

what is the definition of real?

is real... really real?

i am real... or am i?

I live... but i am not real...

i feel dead inside...

there for i am not real...

Molly is real...

she is a real bully...

that makes me feel good...

the kids laugh when she punches me...

that makes me feel sad...

dead...

Star..

is she drifting away?

i fear she has someone new in her life...

she has not cried as many tears as usual...

and worst of all..

when we huddle in the corner clinging onto each other FOR DEAR LIFE...

the clinging wasnt so tight.. so powerful... it was NOT clinging it was....

HUGGING...

Star brightens up my dark whole i call a heart

A poem for.... the only one who understands me...

... Star (you light up my dark whole)

Star if you are reading this... know i care... i care... for you... reply if you care... REPLY!

Death is my life:

the light is burning my eyes... i yurrn for the darkness...

i hear noise... it burns my ears...

we huddle in the corner...

begging for these loud panthers to STOP... JUST STOP!

i scream... but no one hears me...

i scream again... but still my voice is un heard....

i scream and scream until my longs hurt...

then i stop...

i stop to cry...

i can not cry and scream

i can not scream and cry

she starts to cry...

we cry together...

together we cry...

its uncontrollable...

no one notices us cry...

no one notices us shed a single tear...

The world does not care...

if we die... if we live...

we talk.

and talk.

and talk.

and talk some more.

and some more... we talk

all night we talk.

we talk all night.

about our feelings

we talk about... our feelings

about our journey to the underworld...

we will take the journey together...

we shall be together for aturnity...

once i take this trip i shall never return!

i will be in the dark forever... my ears will stop burning my tears will STOP...

life... pointless.

Death... everything.

We do NOT have life... we have death...

all of us eventually die... NO ONE lives for ever...

it is a cycle of death... AND I LOVE IT!

death owns my life... i see dead people all around me...

I see Tim...

he follows me...

he is dead...

I see Sally...

she is dead...

she follows me...

I see me... 

but do i really?

Do i really see me?

Am i a ghost?

No one sees me... 

i look in the mirror...

I DONT SEE ME!

I am invisible...

i am dead...

INSIDE!

I got hit by a pencil today... 

as that sharp object hit my arm

i thought to myself...

Is this the end... ?

am i going to die now...?

is my life over...?

i felt faint...

weak...

afraid...

and i loved it.

Star. 

she darkens up my day... it is a powerful darkness  that takes over me when i see her... this makes me happy inside...

she brings me... HATRED... and not in a good way

That girl... that RAT... EMO?
is that the best you can do?
Emo..
anyone can say it...
BUT ONLY A FEW NO WAT IT ACTUALLY IS...
Emo... EMOTIONAL...
i may be emotional... i may cut myself... BUT I AM NOT EMO...
Ronnie..
a FILTHY KITTEN... that wears... WHITE!
Puppy...
SHE IS A SMALL HELPLESS PUPPY...
i kick puppies...
i kick her...
i eat puppies...
i eat her...

Shee bleeds... and i love it

She bleeds...
i watched the blood trickle down her finger... i licked it off... it was cold but yet WAARM... JUST HOW I LIKE IT...
I keep a lock of her blood next to my 'soul'... at night... i DRINK IT... it makes me feel...
connected... like she actually cares for my soul.. my lonley body yerrns for hers...
and her blood...
would she care if i died?
would she care if i stabbed my heart... just to feel something?
SHE UNDERSTANDS ME...
i go to her house and we cut ourselves...
I AM HIGH...
on love...
love?
what is the meaning of this four letter word?
it brings pain to my life... i like pain... pain is good.

I have been torn between THREE lovers...
DEATH... Fin... and Star...
It makes me feel as if i am trapped in a house that is not my own.. one with FLOWERS... AND LIGHTS.... AND LOOOOOVVVVVE!
It reminds me of a DREAM i wonts had...
The dream... WAS A NIGHTMARE...
there was colours.... kittens.... PUPPYS!
must i say more?
it was terrifying... AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY
A happy knife had stabed my depressed heart... only making me drift ferther away... FORM LIFE!
I woke up colder then usual... so i ran my self a bath... FULL OF ICE.. it makes me feel worm...
it makes me feel.. goood... that my body is suffering... I HATE MY BODY... it isnt me... ITS YOU!

A poem...
Love is like nothing... death is everything... life IS DEATH...
if you want life i BURN YOU... if you want death... i GIVE YOU A KNIFE... TO CUT YOURSELF!
Today i saw Fin... Though i have never talked to him... when i look at him... i FEEL the connection running through our bloods... linking us to eachother.
Today i saw death... it looked at me through my winddow... DRAGGING me out of my house!
I despritly tried to stay with death... BUT LIFE... 'saved me"? ... MORE LIKE DISTROYED ME!
...
I sit in class... looking at all those happy MAGGITS!
I spit on them... I make spells so that THEY CAN SHARE MY PAIN... but i love pain... it is one of the only things that makes me feel... HUMAN...
Human?
What is the definition of being human?
Am i not human?
I have no heart... NO SOUL...
SO I AM NOT HUMAN... i am a corpse that some how transformed into a... HUMAN...

Star.
She reminds me of Death...
SHE RAPES MY HEART EVERYNIGHT... AND I LOVE IT!